Ramadhan Kareem =)

Alhamdulillah.

Ramadhan is coming and I am still in tagging period in Paediatrics Department - to complete a total of 14 days (but today I am taking a day off - how nice is this department!)

Oh, 2/3 of the day to be spent in hospital ~sigh~

I am not sure whether I'll be strong enough to perform Terawih prayers if every night I've to go back at 11 to 11.30pm.

I'm not sure whether I'll be strong enough to wake up in early morning for Tahajjud payers.

Definitely, my sahur will be just before Subuh.

As in last year, my iftar will be just a simple one (as I'll run for my Maghrib prayer ASAP before the night round starts - or it will be usually in the middle of the round when I can just see other people eat and hope for the round to finish fast so that I'll not miss the prayer).

But, I am very sure that Allah will listen to my prayers, ease my way and be by my side.

I really hope that I'd have enough courage and strength to read more Quran and perform Terawih and Tahajjud in the middle of this tagging period during this blessed month. I don't want to miss the train! I shouldn't forget that my job is also actually an ibadah that I'll get reward from it - if I do it because of Allah.

I should also not forget my brothers and sisters in Palestine and other suffering countries who are in more critical condition than me. They are oppressed and fighting for their rights and for Islam. So, I should pray for them and be grateful - mine is just tagging, not fighting.

Keep moving forward. The rest is only in Jannah.

Ramadhan Kareem.

Waiting patiently for my turn

71200 Seremban

Kuantan dan Kenangan

Setahun berlalu.

Saya kembali ke Kuantan. Menziarahi tempat saya belajar tentang hidup; hampir semua tentang kehidupan.
Bersyukur rasanya diberi kekuatan oleh Allah untuk mengharungi 5 tahun yang panjang dahulu.

Berada di sini mengingatkan saya akan cita-cita dan harapan saya dan kawan-kawan - mahu graduate dan berbakti kepada masayarakat.
Tinggi sungguh cita-cita kami. Tetapi kesibukan dan kepenatan bekerja kadang-kadang membuatkan kami lupa akan matlamat asal kami.

Saya tidaklah merancang untuk ke Kuantan kali ini sebenarnya. Tapi perancangan Allah memberi peluang kepada saya untuk memuhasabah diri semasa di sini.

- Dahulu saya banyak tidak tahu, sekarang saya baru tahu sedikit, jadi saya tak boleh jadi sombong dengan orang yang tidak tahu sebab dulu pun saya macam tu juga.

- Dahulu saya belajar dengan pesakit, sekarang saya kerja jaga pesakit, jadi saya kena jaga pesakit-pesakit dengan baik sebab mereka semua 'guru' saya dahulu, kini dan selamanya.

Terlalu banyak untuk diceritakan, tapi banyak juga yang saya tak dapat luahkan. Yang pasti rindu saya terubat dan semoga saya diberi kekuatan untuk berusaha untuk menjadi lebih baik.

21200 Kuantan

Saya rindu UIA

Saya rindu UIA.
Saya juga rindu Kuantan.

Saya rindu kawan-kawan di UIA.
Bukan semua kami datang dari sekolah agama, tapi kami belajar agama sama-sama di UIA.

Saya rindu cikgu-cikgu saya di UIA.
Cikgu-cikgu saya yang penuh dengan 'wisdom' dan sentiasa memberi inspirasi dengan cara meraka yang tersendiri.
Saya tak tahu sama ada saya sudah buat mereka gembira atau tidak; tapi saya tetap berusaha ke arah itu setiap hari (walaupun saya amat penat dengan kerja).

Saya rindu suasana di UIA.
Biar apa pun orang cakap pasal UIA sekarang, saya bersyukur pada Allah sebab takdirkan saya masuk UIA. Saya dapat kenal orang-orang yang baik dan belajar benda-benda baik.

Saya rindu untuk pergi program-program kemasyarakatan walaupun hari-hari saya jumpa masyarakat.
Saya rindu nak buat program sama-sama dengan kawan-kawan.

Sukar benar saya nak solat berjemaah di sini kecuali kalau saya ke masjid.

Saya sedih sebab ramai pesakit saya masih tak solat.
(Mungkin salah saya yang selalu bagi alasan sibuk).
Saya lagi sedih sebab ramai staff dan kawan-kawan juga meringankan solat.
(Kalau tengah operation tu lain cerita. Saya pernah hantar kes ke HKL dan saya minta pemandu berhenti untuk solat maghrib masa pulang ke seremban; tapi tiada sape endahkan permintaan saya).

Saya doa banyak-banyak agar Allah permudahkan saya dalam setiap langkah kehidupan.
Saya doa banyak-banyak agar Allah sentiasa bagi saya petunjuk dan tak lupakan saya.

Saya tahu saya sedang berjuang di sini.
Menegakkan Islam dalam diri saya.
Mengamalkan nilai-nilai Islam semasa bekerja.
Agar Islam tidak dipandang serong.

71200 Seremban

My Patients & My Patience

"Patients are always like that. Never tried to understanding anything. Do they know that we are also human being?"
"But they are patients. They are sick."

"Why are they coming at this time 3 o'clock in the morning for not passing motion for 3 days?"

"Mr. X, please come to hospital. Your father is discharged today."

"Doctor, I cannot come today. I don't have the GL."

"We need the bed for someone else."

"Please doctor, tell the patient that we are not coming to pick him back home."

Grrr.

In the middle of night, around 1am - I was called to A&E,
"Doctor, the hernia (inguinal hernia) is disturbing me. Sometime it is painful. But I still able to pass motion and pass flatus."

"I think you don't need admission. We'll give you date to see us in clinic."

"But I couldn't sleep at night because of the pain"

"Ok then, we admit you to ward."

"But doctor, if I get admitted, I don't have money to pay for the bills. I only have RM50. I even borrowed money from my neighbour to buy my 6-months-old child's milk."

"So, what do you want for now?"

A police officer was treated for acute diverticulitis and he was allowed discharged as the pain improved.

"You can go home today and I'll give you MC until Sunday."

"Can you please write a letter for me that I am not suite for work."

"You can go to work after this. No harm."

"How can I work if I still have the pain."

"Please take and finish the medication and you can work as usual. If you still have pain you can go to KK to continue your MC."

"Doctor, when will my child go for operation? It's nearly 12 hours he's not eating."

"His name is in the OT list. Anaest will call the case. Our OT is quite busy today with trauma cases-more life threatening case. And if there is any EM LSCS, it is prioritized."

I explained to a mother of a gluteal abscess patient.

"I am just worried he's hungry."

"He will be definitely hungry but we are giving him fluid and sugar."

"Doctor, the gauze is soaked with pus. It's time to change."
"Doctor, now is the time for feeding."
"Doctor, when do you want to change my dressing? It's about lunch time already."

And the list goes on. Never ending list.

They are sick people. They are family members of the sick people.

I am not sick. I am taking care of the sick people.

It's the nature of taking care of sick people.

And they are innocent about everything in hospital.

Oh my patience, please always be with me.

P/S : not yet mentioning when dealing with other parties - friends, staffs, bosses!

Just be quiet when in anger.

71200 Seremban

Surgery?

Oh..only a few days left before finishing this surgery...and I still haven't done with my assessment ~sigh~

Compared to medical, surgery is simpler; at least at the level of houseman - proper history and examination, establishing diagnosis, optimizing patient for operation, assissting operation, and post op care so patient can be discharged. Above all, assisting operation is the easiest and taking care of the post op patient is the most difficult - taking care of drains, early mobilization, chest physio, incentive spirometry, nutrition etc.

But definitely performing the surgery is more challenging; but once we master the anatomy and well versed in the principle of surgery - everything is under control. Deciding on when not to go in OT is more difficult and that differentiate good surgeons.

But, enough surgery for me at houseman level. I don't want to go beyond it; maybe I can consider to be a surgery MO (if I have no other option) but I'll make sure it is only temporary. I just can't imagine myself doing the laparotomy, craniectomy, scope etc.

But surely, I'll miss surgery. There are still a lot more knowledge for me to explore.

Oh, I must be thankful to all my colleagues, cool MOs a nd surgeons. Thank you for the experience. Thank you Allah for giving me strengh, patience and passionate.

71200 Seremban