My Graduation Day

Look at my eyes and face - sleepy mode =p

3rd October 2010 - the moment that I had been waiting for since I was small; my graduation day.

I enjoyed the day, but it was not to the fullest because I was still tired. Being post call on the day before, I was not that energetic on that day. Luckily, I was surrounded by excited families and friends so, my day was still happening =)

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Do It in The Right Way

One of my colleagues asked me, "I saw your clerking sheet done at 3 am and the history was quite thorough. How can you produce such during that time?"

I did not know how to answer the question. I was just smiling.

It was not easy to clerk and write a thorough history while the brain was so tired and exhausted during on call (and to maintain a good handwriting).

The drives for me to do so were I wanted to do my best for the patients and I wanted to make it easy for the ward houseman reviewing the patient in the next day.

My message to my juniors, there's no shortcut even when we are busy. We are doing exactly the same thing like what we had been doing during student time (then only we can learn more).

I thanked Allah for helping all the way.

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It has been almost 4 months...

I'm in the last few days in medical posting. I'll miss this department very much.

I was lucky to be given opportunity to experience in almost all rotations in the posting. With a bigger number of house officers in the department, not all of us could have experienced each rotation.

I have good colleagues and seniors in this department. They are indeed my true friends and most importantly my teachers in life. Thanks for correcting me when I was wrong. Thanks for guiding me when I did not know something.

The MOs keep giving me encouragement to pursue in medical (though I've never thought about it during student time). Now, medical in one of the considerations =)

My everyday working life is meaningful and full of lessons. When I punched out the card in the evening, I'd usually say to myself that tomorrow will be a better day.

After all, everything depends on how we perceive life. Life is tough but I'm tougher to face it. I thank Allah for giving me the strength.

Keep praying to Allah for guidance in every second.

Keep being humble so that we can always learn from others.

I am going to O&G department on the 27th Nov. I am looking forward to learn more in O&G! =)

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p/s : I am still searching for the benefit / hikmah for me to be posted in Hospital Tuanku Jaafar, Seremban!

The Beginning

At last, I attempted to jot down something here.

It has been more than 1 month since I started working. I enjoyed my hectic life as a house officer in Hospital Tuanku Jaafar Seremban (HTJS).

HTJS was never in my list of option for my posting. Hospital Serdang, Hospital Kajang and Hospital Putrajaya were the in the list as the distance of those three hospitals are only 10 minutes drive from my house. But, the fate states that I'm belonged to Seremban, Negeri Sembilan.



Since the very first day of posting, I did not feel much alienated with HTJS environment. The environment and surrounding are 90% the same with HTAA, Kuantan. I did not have much problem in ward as the arrangement are almost the same like in HTAA. One of the staff nurse told me, "Since the first time Dr came in, we (staff nurses) were like impressed, how could a new houseman looked so familiar with the ward and you could do all the blood taking and setting the branula easily." I just smiled to them and said to myself, "Alhamdulillah. Thank you my lecturers for forcing me to complete the tasks in the log book."

There are 4 of us; posted in medical department; me, Dr Nurul Ilyani, Dr Leong and Dr Nicholas. We were posted in 4 different medical wards.

I was posted in ward 7A. The first person I met was Dr Chua Laussaine; a nice and tall lady, then Dr Aaron; a cool specialist, Dr Hong; an MO with a very thorough history taking, Dr. Shirley Lee and Dr Chua Shee Heen; both are very good seniors and I owed them a lot, Dr Avinash; a 'jonah' houseman, Dr Kharie; a joker, Dr. Huda, Dr Syauqi and Dr Ana; those are very caring colleagues.

My colleagues are superb! I could not describe it with words! I was brought along with them when they wanted to go to the lab, radiology department, clinics, records department etc. It was beyond my expectation! I was imagining initially that I would have to go through all those things alone and being very blurred for the first time. Thanks Allah for making everything easy for me.

Day by day I went through my tagging period with a lot of lesson everyday. It was tiring; 6.30am till 10.00pm (on paper - but I went back at least at 11.00pm) everyday for 2 weeks. After tagging period, it was quite ok as I could go back at 6.00pm.

Throughout the tagging period, I smiled to myself everyday before going to work and always renew ed my intention of going to work - Lillahi taala. I found it very helpful to keep me strong and withstand all the challenges everyday. And again, thanks to Allah for everything.

Until now, I tried my best to treat my new taggers and colleagues in my posting like what I've been treated before.



More writing soon. So many things to share. Hope that can give benefit to all of us.

Hope for a nice on call tomorrow. I'm on call in malam raya! =)

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Piala Dunia 2010

Saya hanya merupakan pemerhati bagi acara ini.

Boleh dibilang dengan jari tentang bilangan perlawanan yang ditonton.

Dan yang paling penting, saya amat berpuas hati dengan persembahan perlawanan-perlawanan yang saya tonton terutamanya semasa Jerman menentang Argentina dalam pusingan kedua (walaupun sedikit terkilan kerana pasukan pilihan Korea Selatan terkandas pada pusingan kedua semasa menentang Uruguay).


Ya, Sepanyol telah menjuarai piala idaman ramai. Thomas Muller (Jerman) dan Iker Casilla (Sepanyol) meraih kasut emas dan sarung tangan emas.

Bagaimana dengan kita semua? Apa yang kita dapat?

Kepuasan, kerana pasukan pilihan menjuarai perlawanan.

Kegembiraan, kerana pemain pilihan menunjukkan aksi yang mengkagumkan.

Keseronokan, kerana dapat bersama-sama rakan-rakan menonton perlawanan di luar sehingga lewat pagi.

Di samping itu, ada juga berasa sebaliknya.

Kesedihan, kerana pasukan pilihan tidak berjaya mara ke pusingan seterusnya.

Kemarahan, kerana keputusan pengadil yang nampak sangat tidak professional.

Tidak puas hati, kerana prestasi pasukan tidak seperti diharapkan.

Yang pasti, mesti ramai daripada mereka yang bertaruh hampa kerana begitu banyak kejutan dalam Piala Dunia 2010!

Prestasi kehidupan seharian

Saya masih belum bekerja dan saya tidak dapat melihat sendiri senario penonton-penonton ini semasa di tempat kerja.

Tetapi saya amat pasti prestasi kerja selama lebih kurang 1 bulan ini agak merosot bagi sesetengah mereka.

Semasa masih belajar dulu pun, ada yang sampai tidak hadir ke kelas kerana menonton perlawanan bola sepak.

Saya tidak beberapa pasti jika ada kepincangan dalam urusan keluarga kerana tidak mengalaminya sendiri. Ayah saya juga meminati bola sepak tetapi dia hanya menonton perlawanan pada jam 10 malam; tidak pada jam 2.30 pagi. Tetapi, saya pasti perkara kepincangan urusan keluarga dengan disebabkan oleh perubahan jadual tidur untuk disesuaikan dengan masa Piala Dunia ini berlaku di kalangan sesetengah daripada kita.

Tidak mengapa

Ramai yang mengatakan tidak mengapa kerana ianya hanya 4 tahun sekali.

Ya. Saya bersetuju. Tidak mengapa merai dan merasai sekali bahang Piala Dunia ini.

Hatta mereka yang kurang berminat pasal bola sepak dan kadang-kadang tak faham pun tentang perlawanan bola sepak serta mungkin tidak faham pun apa itu off-side akan teruja dengan Piala Dunia dengan promosi yang begitu hebat di media massa, apatah lagi mereka yang amat meminati sukan bola sepak.

Ini adalah salah satu peluang untuk menonton perlawanan bola sepak yang bermutu dan dalam masa yang sama menghiburkan. Perasaan berdebar-debar sepanjang menonton perlawanan amat menyeronokkan.

Prioriti

Sebagai seorang Muslim, renungilah kembali tentang prioriti dalam hidup kita.

Keredhaan Allah itu yang kita cari. Keredhaan Allah itu terdapat pada kesungguhan kita melaksanakan amanah yang telah diberikan; contoh yang paling dekat ialah pekerjaan kita. Dari mana datangnya berkat jika kita hanya bekerja selama 6 jam (2 jam lagi - tertidur) sedangkan kita dibayar gaji untuk bekerja selam 8 jam sehari? Duit gaji itu akan digunakan untuk menyuap nasi kepada anak-anak di rumah. Dari mana datangnya berkat?

Begitu juga dengan pelajar-pelajar. Dari mana datangnya berkat jika tidak hadir ke kelas dan menipu kehadiran? Oleh itu, tanya balik pada diri jika selepas graduasi nanti anda amat susah mendapat pekerjaan. Mungkin ada silapnya.

Berbaloikah mempertaruhkan nasib kita sendiri untuk perkara yang bersifat sementara? Pasti susah dan payah untuk berperang dengan hati sendiri. Kepada Allah jualah tempat mengadu dan memohon.

Fikir-fikirkan. Saya juga menasihati diri sendiri. Mari merebut piala yang kekal abadi.

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p/s : bersyukur kerana masih bernafas hingga saat ini untuk membaiki diri

Putrajaya Floria 2010

We were neither interested in flowers, gardening nor photo-shooting. We went there for a weekend outing. Thumbs up for the organizer!

Ar-Rahman. Hath made known the Qur'an. He hath created man. He hath taught him utterance. The sun and the moon are made punctual. The stars and the trees adore. And the sky He hath uplifted; and He hath set the measure, that ye exceed not the measure, but observe the measure strictly, nor fall short thereof. And the earth hath He appointed for (His) creatures, Wherein are fruit and sheathed palm-trees, husked grain and scented herb. Which is it, of the favors of your Lord, that ye deny? Surah Ar-Rahman (55) : 1-13

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Be Patient

It has been nearly 5 weeks since the last time I updated this blog. So many things happened but I was just not in right pace of writing.

The most important lesson I gained during this period is to always be patient. It is very difficult to be patient especially when we are in anger. But we really have to train ourselves for that. [Read this].


Hope to share more soon!

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Note : I am waiting patiently for the letter from MOH for my internship posting.

At the same time...

Yesterday, we were taking oath with Allah; to be a good doctor.

We were so happy as we were officially called a doctor.

Just remember, the responsibility comes together with the title.

At the same, our Muslim friends (as well as other NGO members from different religions) were attacked on their way to Palestine. The trip was only a humanity trip! I didn't see any logic behind the attack unless the attacker were so coward!

The Israelis are really having persecutory delusions about risk of being attacked by others. It's just because of they knew that they have been doing the wrong things since the beginning and their fate is really at the edge of fringe if people of the world raise together and attack them.

And I hate of having so called great leaders (I wonder if the leaders are also in Malaysia) but failed to really condemned Israelis!

Our friends are the true Muslim; having full of faith to take the risk of dying just because to help our suppressed brothers there. It is only either winning or shaheed.

Let's pray for them; for Allah to ease their way.

Let's pray for the peace of Gaza. The people are our Muslim brothers.

Let's strengthen our faith to Allah, practice Islam in our practice and attitude and spread the correct message of Islam to others so that we will become stronger to fight with them.



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For My Juniors...

I don't have much to share about my final professional exam. But, I hope this might be useful especially to my juniors.

Happy reading! =)

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My Promise to Allah

I was taking my oath with Allah as a Muslim physician today.

Dr. Azarisman Shah - My expectation is you are able to present everything about the case to me at 4 o'clock in the morning with the eyes closed and full bladder. ~Still wondering and couldn't imagine what does it mean. We'll see later.

Recitation of du'a

Speech by Prof Fauzi - Be good to everyone around you. Give back to the community.

Returning speech by Safwan - Be thankful with the nikmat from Allah and show it every aspect in life.

3 inspiring Professors - Prof Ariff (Anaesthesiology), Prof Fauzi (Internal Medicine),
Prof Murad (O & G)

This must be at time when Safwan said - Thank you doctors for all the advices, guidance, motivation and not forgetting the pinches and squeezes. =D

Taking oath with Allah - led by Amir

104 of us. Alhamdulillah =)

With my study group members : Safwan, Darwish, Ili (+ Wahid)

Luckily, the lecturers were having Kulliyyah meeting, so that I was able to meet them and say my thanks. May Allah bless you all, teachers~ (especially to my mentor during O&G posting - Dr Hakim Gharib Bilal who will be going back to Africa; thank you for being so kind to me and being such among the best mentor I ever had)

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Note :

1. When I met Prof Zalina, who was my examiner for the long case:

Prof Zalina : You got distinction marks for your long case.

Me : It couldn't be Prof. I was the student with the case of acute haematogenous osteomyelitis.

Prof Zalina : Yes, you got a good mark for that.

Me : ~ speechless (since she insisted)~I didn't feel it was so good to get a distinction mark. It is not until proven otherwise. Maybe she is talking about the other student. Anyway, thanks Allah for easing my way =)

2. When I met Prof Hamizah, who was my examiner for short case:

Prof Hamizah : Ni la student yang over-confident hari tu.

Me : ??? She must be talking about my wrong initial diagnosis for that uterus larger than date! Huhu..But she was so kind, guiding me to the right diagnosis =) Alhamdulillah

3. When I met Dr Zamzila, my biochemistry lecturer:

Dr Zamzila : Come back to UIA, ok?

Me : Insya Allah =)

4. Credit to Bro Azmi for the photos =)

They are also Important

I just want to remind myself about the significance of people around us.

One of the key in life is to be good to everyone regardless of their status, position or background.

In the end, we are all the servants of Allah and the highest-ranked servant are those with taqwa.

There are a lot of people involved in my journey in medical school other than my beloved family, lecturers and friends.

They are the staffs, drivers, cleaners and all in IIUM Kuantan Campus.

They worked hard to serve us; the students.

They are very significant is our journey.

Thank you to the bus drivers, who drove me everyday to the hospital (in a big bus with only 5 students per trip).

Thank you to the Kak Fiza, Kak Oya, Kak Riza, Kak Wawa, Sis. Najihah, Bro Ipen, Bro Mubin, Bro Ezmil, all the MLTs, staff nurses in every departments and supporting staffs for helping us in every exams.

Thank you also Kak Ton, our helper (cleaner) - in our mahallah (hostel) for cleaning our corridor, toilets and arrange our shoes nicely everyday!

I pray for the best reward from Allah for all of you.

Treat others nicely and we will definitely get the same return; or sometimes it is even better.

That's the formula in life and rule of nature.

Supposed there are people who hurt you, give our apology though it's very hard and hurting (I've felt it) and pray to Allah to show them the way. It's only Allah having the justice.

So, in wherever we are, be humble; because we are all servants of Allah. We never know who has the higher rank in the eyes of Allah.

I'm not that smart. Just an ordinary student who always tried to give her very best.

Alhamdulillah, Ya Allah for everything I have in this life.

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Note:

I've passed my exam. I am so happy because I am done with one phase of life - which took me 7 years to complete it (the DR is not really a matter). Alhamdulillah =))

The End of the Beginning

At the scene of event, Level 1, Jalan Hospital Campus, Kulliyyyah of Medicine, IIUM Kuantan

Our final professional exam result was announced this afternoon.

Alhamdulillah.

104/106 students managed to make it.

Thanks Allah for Your guidance.

I have to work hard to be Your good servant.

This is only the end of the beginning of this sacred and very challenging profession.

Once again, to Allah I seek for strength to face it.

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Note :

This Monday will be our oath taking ceremony. I cannot wait for it!

I have only about 1 week before I leave Kuantan; the place where I learned a lot about the meaning of life. I'll come here back in 3-4 years time for another mission.

Thanks to all supporting staffs of Kulliyyah of Medicine, IIUM.

I pray for my 2 good friends to be strong for the next 6 months. You'll definitely can make it. My humble prayers are for both of you.

Road to Final Professional

I can never thank my lecturers enough.

Thanks Allah for giving me chance to learn Your knowledge from these people who are full with wisdom.

During the 2 weeks time of our revision, the lecturers were very supportive by giving us the tips and revise on the important topics. Almost all departments did their best for us.

Yes, we did request revision class from them, but their commitment were so great. It was beyond our expectation.

Some of the lecturers requested from us for them to have class with us! But, they did not discuss much on the topics. Most of them kept giving motivation to us and comforted us from various ways.

I would never forget the song 'Open Your Eyes' by Maher Zain presented by Dr Ziana after O&G revision.

"The great satisfaction as teachers is when we go to hospital and see our students serving the patients properly. When I went for medical check up for my Hajj, the doctor in charge was my student. We'll try to help student in exam. I like to scold student during teaching. But that's because I love my students and I want them to learn." Dr Ziana

I would also never forget the encouraging and inspiring slides by Dr Marzuki after MCQ session with him. (He named his session MCQ revisited : A Life Long Memorable Moment in Medicine). Yes, I will never forget that session.

I was also so touched with Prof Wahab who is still under chemotherapy, when he still came to meet us and gave some tips. We will indeed pray for your health as well, Prof.

"Compose yourself and present properly. Don't be panic if you get a difficult case. Take the history properly and according chronology. I will always pray for all of you!"
Prof Wahab

As usual, the senior lecturer would reserve to show their care to the end. Thank you Prof Naseer and Prof Hafiz =)

From my observation, they did not taught us much during the revision. They just wanted to see us all, to see our faces and to say something to alleviate our anxiety.

They just knew when to give it. That's the instinct of teacher granted by Allah to them. True teachers.

I thank all my lecturers.

I've done the best I could in the exam and I'm hoping for a smile for it.

I can never thank you all enough for all the care and guidance. I pray to Allah for all my lecturers to be at their best health so that they can continue spreading the wisdom to the others.

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Note : I want to see them back in 3 to 4 years time. Hope by that time I can join them and learn from them on how to be a good teacher =)

Great teacher inspires!

IIUM Final Professional Examination 2010

Yeah, today is the grand finale of my 7 years of study.

My final professional exam has started since last Friday.

We had theory papers; PMP, OSCE and MCQ on last Friday and Monday. Alhamdulillah. (though I was not really satisfied with my performance in OSCE). I do hope all the carry marks and the exam marks are enough to pass me in theory paper.

The grand finale is the clinical examination. It's the time to show to the examiners that you are a SAFE doctor.

Alhamdullillah. My turn is on the second day (today) and again Alhamdulillah, I managed to end it with a smile.

And now I leave everything to Allah.

The result will be announced tomorrow..huhu...

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Note : More entry about this professional exam will come. I will never forget on the mixed feeling, anxiety and palpitation before the exam. Hope that will be a sweet memory for me. Now is the time for doa and tawakal.

The receiving hands

Alhamdulillah.

I really felt Your Love today.

And also I felt an indescribable feeling of receiving sadaqah from people around us.

A mixed feeling of happiness and grateful. My sadness, confusion and depression for the whole day melted with just like that.

"Adik puasa ye"

Nodding head.

"Nah, ni kurma dari Mekah untuk berbuka"

Speechless. "Terima kasih makcik"

I was holding my tears at that time.

It was an unexpected gift from Allah.

Actually, I've prepared my food for the iftar.

But by having the dates, I could catch up with the congregational prayers since the beginning.

Thank you Allah for this lesson.

I know after this I have to train myself to share my possession though with little amount.

I want them to feel what I've felt. It was a very beautiful feeling.

I want to share my happiness with them.

Thank you Allah for alleviating my pain inside.

Please guide me to Your Way.

"Glory to be Him in Whose hands is the Kingdom of all things; and to Whom shall all be brought back" Surah Yasin (36) : 83

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Thanks to Hanisah and Saaidah for being my companions.
To the kind auntie, I pray for you to be always at your best health and wealth.

Don't Know Where to Go

He has promised to you that He will always be there.

So, turn to Him when we do not know where to go.

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My Last Week of Posting

This week will be the last week of our posting after 7 years of journey in medical school.

I want to enjoy it until the last day.

Thanks Allah for all the strength that You gave me to reach until this stage.

The very next step is to pass the Final Professional Examination (as well as the Paediatric posting).

Note : I don't want to receive any 'mangkuk' in this week. =p

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23 days to Final Professional Examination

An Exciting SPA Interview

I was so excited to attend the SPA interview last week.

Luckily, my turn was in the third day (Thursday, 22 April 2010)

So, there were so many tips from my batch mates (thank you friends).

For me, as long as you can talk during the interview, it would be fair enough for them to not to reject our application.

I did a few readings on the national issues including 1 Malaysia, Government Transformation Program, New Economy Model etc.

The typical issue was of course 1 Malaysia and how can we as doctor implement this idea while working.

Some of my friends got questions on Government Transformation Program, New Economy Model and New Key Result Area and they did answer them well! (I'm proud of you!).

I was the fourth person. (Luckily, I didn't have to wait long).

Mine was not so difficult. My interviewer was Datuk Ignatius J. Bantoi.

I got typical current issue; 1 Malaysia and H1N1.

But, the hardest part was to talk about H1N1 in Bahasa!

Penyakit disebabkan oleh jangkitan virus Influenza A..err..strain H1N1.

Virus ini tersebar melalui...errr...droplets.

Anyway, it was a good experience. The interview ended after about 15 to 20 minutes.







Thanks to Allah who eased the way. Alhamdulillah.

Now, the next mission is to pass the Final Professional Exam.

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Note : 26 days to Final Professional Exam

Mari Bersedekah

"Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang selalu membaca Kitab Allah dan melaksanakan solat dan menginfakkan sebahagian rezeki yang Kami anugerahkan kepadanya dengan diam-diam dan terang-terangan, mereka itu mengharapkan perdagangan yang tidak rugi. Agar Allah menyempurnakan pahalanya kepada mereka dan menambah kurniaNya. Sungguh, Allah Maha Pengampun, Maha Mensyukuri."
Surah Al-Fatir (35) : 29-30

Lepas ni, tidak elok untuk kita mengatakan yang mereka yang membuat publisiti atas dermaan mereka itu adalah atas dasar menunjuk-nunjuk.

Mungkin mereka lebih faham Al-Quran daripada kita.

Biarlah niat dan keikhlasan mereka menjadi rahsia antara mereka dengan Allah.

Jadi,

Jom bersedekah!

Mari sentiasa berbaik sangka sesama manusia!

Semoga sentiasa mendapat perlindungan daripadaNya.



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Don't be selfish

"If the patient was ill-looking, don't disturb him. Don't be selfish."

Thank you Dr Aye Aye for the reminder.

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Note : I was relieved to listen to her advice just now. We have to be empathy. Just use our common sense!

Harapan

"Harta dan anak-anak adalah perhiasan kehidupan di dunia tetapi amal kebajikan yang terus menerus adalah lebih baik pahalanya di sisi Tuhanmu serta lebih baik untuk menjadi harapan."

Surah Al Kahfi (18) : 46

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Thanks, dear patients

I had a good day with my patients today!

I smiled all the way today because of them despite of having mixed feeling about everything lately.

Thanks to the brilliant and smart boys; Mohd Amirul Fikrie and Mohd Amirul Firdaus for the great moments.

I pray for your success in the future undertakings. (Firdaus wanted to be an astronaut)

I pray for you to be protected from all of the bad influences around us.

Please grow up 'safely' in our society.

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Note : They also caused my homesickness level to be increased =(